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<title>And I Never Minded Being On My Own (and then Something Broke In Me) by fiveyaaas</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28942746">And I Never Minded Being On My Own (and then Something Broke In Me)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas'>fiveyaaas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>because you’ll listen [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(it’s light but it’s there), (physically he is 18 and mentally he is in his 60s), Body Image, Cunnilingus, Daddy Kink, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Time, Gift Fic, Lingerie, Older Woman/Younger Man, One Shot, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Prompt Fill, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:14:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28942746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It had taken five years to get to this point. After spending decades just reading her book. He knew <i>why</i> she wanted to wait, and he respected it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>because you’ll listen [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122461</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And I Never Minded Being On My Own (and then Something Broke In Me)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxbunnykissesxx/gifts">xxbunnykissesxx</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another quick prompt fill, for <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxbunnykissesxx/pseuds/xxbunnykissesxx">xxbunnykissesxx</a>, writer of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/series/2045437"> “WAP: THE SERIES”</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300199">“The Corpse Bride”</a>, and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28233240/chapters/69184800">“90 Day Fiveyance.”</a> I recommend you read any or all of them!!!</p>
<p>She requested a daddy kink fic where Five is younger than Vanya, so I wrote this, which is an AU where they wait to get together. It doesn’t really talk much about the timeline as it’s PWP, but I like to think that it doesn’t acknowledge season 2. Five is still mentally older than Vanya and physically 18, but if you’re uncomfortable at all, please don’t read the fic!!! There is also slight mentions of panic attacks and self-esteem issues as well!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had taken five years to get to this point. After spending decades just reading her book. He knew <em> why </em>she wanted to wait, and he respected it. Seeing people that were his physical age try to hit on him sent waves of revulsion through his body, and, though he knew that Vanya knew he wasn’t actually that age, he could see why she’d be uncomfortable touching him when he’d looked younger than he did even now. </p>
<p>Staring at himself in the mirror, he wondered if she would still feel uncomfortable, with him in an eighteen year old body. In the other room, she was waiting for him, and it wasn’t like he’d never done this before, with other people. (Granted, it had been five years, but still.)</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Vanya called out, and he craned his neck to the bathroom door, like he could his vision could pass through the wood and actually see her if he was determined enough. They were at her apartment, Five having told the others not to disturb them for the next few weeks.</p>
<p>Five had not even second-guessed himself until Vanya’s neighbor, Mrs. Kowalski, had mentioned that he seemed a little young for her. Now, he couldn’t help but wonder if she felt that way too. In all actuality, she was a little young for <em> him, </em> but he supposed it bothered even him  to know that they’d never match, that people would see them walking down the streets and never think that they were a <em>couple.</em> At the very least he’d been there to witness her crow’s feet and graying hair, but she’d had to witness him go through his second puberty, had to hear his voice as it cracked and deepened. How could she possibly want him when he could barely look at his own body now without disgust?</p>
<p>For years, he’d imagined a world where he’d get to grow old with her, but he’d always look nearly 20 years younger than her, always look like he was catching up. He <em>knew </em>that it was about her feelings for him, but he couldn’t help but doubt those too. It wasn’t like he was the easiest person to be around.</p>
<p>“You’re not nervous, are you?” she added after a few moments, voice concerned.</p>
<p>Five stifled down the urge to laugh. If she’d asked that of him an hour ago, he <em> would </em> have, thinking the thought to be absurd. As it was, she was right to ask him. He <em> was </em> nervous. Not for the act itself, but if Vanya would still want him after. His body had filled out somewhat, but he had no idea how she felt about it. She’d been careful not to mention it, which, for quite a while, he’d been thankful for. There had never been any question that she wanted him romantically, and they’d talked about it before, how they’d spend this day. “I’m alright, dear,” he said back, not raising his voice because he knew she’d hear it, regardless of how loud he said it. His eyes stayed glued to the mirror, wondering if there was anything he could possibly do to make himself not feel insecure about this. <strike>It made sense that he’d spent his first time growing up arrogant as shit, and, when it mattered, he couldn’t bring himself to feel confident at all.</strike></p>
<p>There was a sound like she was laying back on the bed, and he wondered if she was annoyed with him for taking so long. He’d been careful not to say any of his thoughts aloud, knowing it would only upset her. If she started comforting him, even if she really meant it, he’d assume she was only saying it to make him feel better about himself. </p>
<p>Heaving a breath, he took one final glance at himself and stepped out of the bathroom. </p>
<p>When Vanya glanced up at him, he realized she’d changed while he was trying to keep himself from having a panic attack. At the sight of the baby pink, lace nightie, he nearly gulped. As it was, his voice sounded just the slightest bit frantic when he mumbled, “You look beautiful.”</p>
<p>She beamed, reaching out for him. With only a little hesitation, he teleported to her side, wrapping his arms around her. </p>
<p>“Are you sure you’re not nervous?” Vanya repeated, dragging her nails through his hair and tugging him to the bed. He forced himself not to react as he realized she hadn’t put on underwear with the nightgown, pulling her into his lap and hoping she wouldn’t notice the fact that he was hardening at the sight of her. He wrapped her legs around his waist before setting his hands on her thighs. Fully straddling him, he realized that she too was affected, feeling her start to seep against his boxers. “I know we’ve never done this before, and… I mean, I’m a little nervous. It’s normal, you know.”</p>
<p>Five kissed her nose. He’d been able to get away with kissing her a few times in the past few years, always innocent kisses that could easily be interpreted as platonic, like quick pecks to her cheeks and her nose, a brush of lips against her forehead or the back of her hand. Always, he’d been careful to never break the boundary they had up. Kissing her so innocently now soothed his nerves, though, so he kissed her cheek next. “You don’t have to be nervous,” Five cooed, stroking her thigh. “It’s just me.”</p>
<p>When she moved back a little, he glanced between her thighs quickly, nearly causing the panic attack to rear its head again. “It would make me feel better if you were nervous too,” she confessed, cheeks turning scarlet. She was starting to fidget with the tie he’d worn to dinner. “Though I suppose you’re talented at everything, and—”</p>
<p>His lips found hers for the first time in 50 years. “I’m nervous too,” he admitted, hands crawling up between her shoulder blades, fingers drumming over the top of her spine. “And I’m <em>only</em> telling you because you said that.”</p>
<p>She giggled, and his nerves eased just a little bit. At the very least, if she didn’t want him romantically after this, they’d still likely be best friends. </p>
<p>“Thank you,” she said, kissing him again. “I love you, you know?”</p>
<p>Trying not to think about the fact that she’d have heard his heart stop for a second, he told her, “I love you too.”</p>
<p>“Can you touch me?”</p>
<p>He knew she wasn’t referring to the tender way his hands were roaming over her body, but he didn’t want to go too fast, worried she might ask him to stop before they even started. If he got nothing else from tonight, he wanted a memory that he could cling to for the rest of his life. “How do you want me to touch you, sweetheart?” he grunted. </p>
<p>Vanya settled her hand in his hair again, pushing his face down to her chest. With a quick laugh, he closed his mouth around her nipple through the fabric of the nightgown. Her chin settled on top of his head. Easily, he pulled them back against the bed, getting more comfortable with her. Just as she let out a choked gasp, he pulled the straps down, staring at her pebbled, dusty pink nipples against her light skin, finding himself murmuring soft praise to her before he mouthed at them again. </p>
<p>His teeth scraped against one, and she hissed out, “Don’t stop.”</p>
<p>Five hadn’t intended to <em> ever </em> stop. Alternating between flicking his tongue and nipping at her, he listened to her small whimpers, encouraged by it. The hand that wasn’t holding her up reached up to tweak her other nipple. She started rocking against his erection, slickness continuing to coat his boxers, and his cock twitched against her. </p>
<p>“I need you to— <em> oh.” </em>He could figure out pretty clearly what she was asking, based on the near frantic way she was thrusting against him. </p>
<p>He laid her back against her pillows, spreading her legs so he could actually see her. Her little pink cunt was <em> glistening, </em>and he was almost to where all of his anxiety had gone, just wanting to taste her. The glossy, brown hair he’d spent an embarrassing portion of his life thinking about was bunching up against the pillows as she let out tiny mewls. “You want me to make you feel good, Vanya?”</p>
<p>Clearly, she wasn’t even thinking when she blurted, “Yes, Daddy. <em> Please.” </em></p>
<p>Her eyes opened, cheeks pinkening again, but Five was... <em> elated. </em></p>
<p>His confidence came back to him with the words, not worried any longer at all that she thought he was too young for her, that they didn't match. It was clear that she didn’t think of him that way, and, though she looked mortified, he felt the urge to spend the rest of the night praising her.</p>
<p>They’d waited five years for this, and he wasn’t going to fuck this up for them. There was no reason to worry, not when he wouldn’t let anything go wrong. </p>
<p>“Oh, good girl,” he purred, reaching for her legs again, setting them against his shoulder. Her breath hitched at the term, and he murmured it again. The nightie had bunched up as she was repositioned, exposing half her torso, barely clinging to her at all at this point. Five thought the grasp he had on his control was even more delicate, never feeling as much desire as he did kneeling before her. “You’re doing such a good job, angel,” he added, knowing that she’d probably be internally panicking at what she’d just called him. Truly, he didn’t mind at all. He wasn’t even surprised she had the kink, and he was <em>reeling </em>with the rush of confidence it gave him, knowing that she could find him desirable, that he could be something that she could <em>love </em>(and, hopefully, without any guilt for it). </p>
<p>“I’m going to take care of you,” he promised, petting her a few times to make sure she actually was comfortable, not wanting to touch her if she didn’t want him to do so. When she made no protest, just whimpering and begging him to eat her out (in more polite terms, of course), he tipped his head forward. </p>
<p>She hissed as his tongue slipped between her folds, nosing at her clit immediately, wanting to feel her gush out for him. Her pussy was more responsive than he’d ever could possibly imagine, and he lapped up all she could possibly offer her. When she moaned out, <em> ‘Daddy,’ </em>again, he could feel himself smirking against her cunt, nose nudging to the bundle of nerves again, tipping his chin up to kiss it. Vanya’s legs were starting to tremble, locking around his neck, starting to stammer out the word over and over and over until she was clenching around his tongue, shouting loudly enough that he knew her nosy fucking neighbor would likely hear. </p>
<p>Vanya’s lips were wobbling when he pulled away, tears starting to streak down her cheeks, and he leaned forward to kiss her gently. “Are you okay, sweet girl?” he asked, crooning as he pressed cheek to her shoulder. </p>
<p>As she started nodding, making soft little noises, he held her close, combing through her hair with his fingers. “You’re not… I did okay?”</p>
<p><em> “Yes,” </em> he groaned. “God, <em> Vanya, </em>yes. Don’t worry at all, sweetheart.” </p>
<p>Five moved his head to make eye contact, forehead pressing to hers. “You never have to be uncomfortable with me, Vanya. It’s okay.” As he started kissing her again, slipping his tongue into her mouth and letting her taste herself, she relaxed against him, all of the anxiety leaving her too. They were comfortable with one another, and it was all he could have ever hoped for.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading!!! Request any prompts that you have <a href="https://fiveyaaas.tumblr.com/ask">here.</a> I will probably reblog a few prompt lists on there too, and I’ll link them in future prompt fills.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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